Submitted by: Jowad Skaff
I am a man of Lebanese descent, born into a family marked by the pain of war. As a young child, I experienced the terror of Lebanon’s civil war, a brutal conflict between Christians and Muslims. My father and his brothers fought on the front lines to defend our Christian people. But war didn’t end on the battlefield. It followed my father home and shaped him into a man torn by trauma, anger, and violence.
Growing up in that environment left me riddled with fear, anxiety, and confusion. I was timid and broken, scarred by the trauma of my early life and the emotional instability of a household ruled by pain. By the age of fifteen, I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran away from home, already neck-deep in rebellion and hanging out with the wrong crowd.
I ended up living with a group of Asian men who introduced me to the world of drug dealing. But it wasn’t brotherhood, it was slavery. They used and abused me, giving me just enough money to eat while beating me and sending me out at night to deal for them. I lived in constant fear. Drugs and alcohol became my way to cope. They became my god.
Eventually, I started stealing drugs to sell and use on my own. I gained a name for myself on the streets and was able to break away from the gang. By my twenties I was a “successful” drug dealer. I had money, cars, women, and a penthouse condo. From the outside, I looked like I had it all. But inside, I was empty, chained, and still running from the boy who had never healed.
Most of my closest friends were Muslim, and over time, I unknowingly became indoctrinated. I came to believe Jesus was just a prophet. Islam made more sense to me than Jesus. I thought I knew the truth.
But God had other plans.
At age thirty, God brought a Christian woman into my life, Kasumi, who would later become my wife. Together we had two beautiful daughters, Juliet and Saraiah. But even then, I lived a double life. I was partying, drugging, and drinking, while pretending to be a husband and father. I left Kasumi to raise our daughters while I spiraled deeper into addiction.
On September 16, 2016, I overdosed and ended up on life support. I survived, but that still wasn’t my rock bottom. Just four months later, I was back at it, trying to make up for lost time.
That same year, Kasumi’s father, a pastor, was called to Vancouver Island to serve a Japanese church. I convinced her that moving there would help us heal as a family and get me away from the influences feeding my addiction. But I didn’t realize the problem wasn’t geographical; it was spiritual. I couldn’t run from myself.
We moved to Vancouver Island on April 17, 2017, and for a while, I stayed sober. Things seemed better. But it didn’t take long for me to find a new group of friends just like the ones I had left behind. Soon, the same pattern returned but worse. I was using harder drugs, staying out for days, sometimes living on the streets. I was overcome with guilt and shame. I couldn’t face my wife or look my daughters in the eye. I isolated myself completely. The enemy had me exactly where he wanted me alone, hopeless, and drowning.
One day, I had enough. I decided I was going to end my life. I had a plan. I would go home, grab a rope, drive to a cliff, tie the rope around my neck, and jump. It was around 2 p.m. when I arrived at the house. But Kasumi was there, sitting at the table, waiting for me, with a meal prepared. I was shocked. She looked up and calmly said, “Sit down and eat.”
But I was too far gone. I hadn’t eaten or slept in days. I was high and exhausted, literally withering away. I looked like a dead man walking.
When I said I couldn’t eat, she stood up, looked me dead in the eye, and said, “I know what’s happening. The devil has you and I’m not going to let him take you. I’m going to fight for this family. I am not going down without a fight!”
Then, like a lion, she shouted, “YOU NEED JESUS!”
That name Jesus shook me. I snapped back and said, “Don’t talk to me about Jesus!”
But she shouted even louder, “NO! YOU NEED JESUS!”
I ran out of the house. What I didn’t realize was that God had just placed a divine barricade between me and my plan to take my life.
That same night, I was with friends and cursing Jesus. I said, “Jesus is just a prophet—if anything, I need Allah.” I prayed to Allah day and night, but nothing ever happened. No one came. I was lost.
Days later, I went to a party. I was so far gone that even the people at the party didn’t want me there. I was known to get so high I’d talk to myself. I tried to get drugs from someone, but he refused since I had no money. I was so desperate that I planned to rob him, even if it meant hurting him. That’s how twisted my mind had become.
Eventually, I got drugs from someone else and mixed several substances together. Soon after, I started overheating, sweating profusely, and struggling to breathe. I didn’t want anyone to see me, so I left. Somehow, I made it home and collapsed on my youngest daughter’s bed.
Kasumi and our daughters were in the other room with the door locked. I lay there, overdosing. I was soaking wet as if I’d dunked in water. I was burning up. I remembered my best friend Jay, who had overdosed the year before, died, and left behind a 4-year-old daughter. I realized: My daughters are going to find me dead in the morning.
Paralyzed with fear and unable to move, I gave up.
But then I remembered what Kasumi had said: “You need Jesus.”
With what I thought would be my last breath, I cried out, “Jesus! If You’re real, is this the life You chose for me – to go out like a crackhead? Jesus, if you’re real, SAVE ME!”
In that very moment, something supernatural happened.
The anxiety and fear instantly left me. A tingling sensation flooded my body. Calmness came over me like I had never experienced before, not even once since I was born. Suddenly, light filled my eyes, and I sat up. It wasn’t that I was sleeping. It wasn’t a high. It was real.
I looked around. The light was shining through the blinds. I realized that it was morning. May 23, 2020. I was alive. But not just alive, I was sober, and my mind was crystal clear. Colors were more vivid. Sounds were sharper. I had never felt more alive in my life.
I heard Kasumi and the girls downstairs making breakfast. I flung open the door and ran down the stairs shouting, “Where’s your Bible?”
Kasumi looked at me, shocked. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“No!” I said. “Where is your Bible?”
She pointed next to me. I grabbed it, ran into the office, slammed the door, and opened it. My eyes landed on Matthew 6:25–34, where Jesus says not to worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or what you will wear. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
I broke down. I wept over those pages like a child, and right then and there, I gave my life to Jesus. I promised Him I would follow Him for the rest of my life, and I have never turned back.
Since that day, Jesus has restored me. He saved me from death, delivered me from addiction, and broke every chain that held me in bondage. My marriage is restored. My relationship with my daughters is restored. And most of all, my soul is restored.
I was once a man who cursed Jesus, but now I preach His name. I was once lost, but now I am found. I was blind, but now I see. I have been sober for five years now and, only by God’s grace, I have never relapsed.
All glory to Jesus Christ my Savior, my King, my Redeemer.
Submitted by: Jowad Skaff
*****
Once we get to Heaven and God shows us a reel of our life, we will discover how many times we were rescued, protected or redirected by supernatural means. What a divine privilege it is that, during our time on earth, God gives us snapshots into the supernatural realm, unusual happenings that announce that Heaven is present and involved in our lives.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
Psalm 91:11
If you would like to share a personal story of supernatural protection or angelic activity in your history, please reach out. Private message me on Facebook messenger or email me and I will explain the details. I would love to share your testimony on my blog as an encouragement to others. As it says in Hebrews 3:13 – Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today’.
Also, you are welcome to share this story with your friends and family, or with anyone who needs some encouragement.
