When I was fifteen years old, my mother passed away. The year was 1969. A month later I noticed a rock-hard tumor growing in my abdomen. For a Science Fair Project, I had been carelessly doing experiments with large amounts of asbestos dust in the family home basement.
I had so many emotions raging inside of me, guilt over my mother’s death (I felt it was my fault), shame, regret, sadness, terror and fear of dying. I didn’t know where I would spend eternity when I would die. I did not have a relationship with the Lord at that time.
Because of the guilt I didn’t tell anyone about the tumor – because I believed I deserved to die for what I’d done to my mother. Eventually my father found out about the cancer through some normal tests I’d undergone. When I took the tests, I assumed my father would be informed by the clinic – and I knew my secret would be exposed. I actually felt relieved that someone else would now know and that he might comfort me going through this very difficult time. Of course he did find out, but didn’t bother to tell me (something I already knew), let alone comfort me, or even seek medical help for me. I can understand that he was reeling from losing my mother, his wife, six months prior, and now he was about to lose me.
Instead of being a support to me, he said nothing and one week later chose to take out an insurance policy on me.
Two insurance agents came to the house to interview my father and me before being able to approve the policy. They asked many questions. My father only lied on the important ones. I sat there in disgust – but said nothing – trying to figure out my next move.
Eventually the insurance agents were convinced. One of them faced me and said, “To approve the policy; you will need to go see your doctor to get a clean bill of health.”
My father quickly responded. “My son is in sports and he just had a physical six months ago. He doesn’t need another doctor’s report. I’d be glad to get you those results.” He looked at me. “Isn’t that right, Tom?”
I said, “Yes, I just had a physical.” A teenaged boy’s physical back in the day was a basic check on the height, weight, blood pressure, and ‘turn your head and cough’ ordeal. It certainly wasn’t extensive in any way.
The two agents agreed that was sufficient and granted the policy.
If my father had taken out enough to just bury me I would’ve understood. But instead, he took out a massive policy on me – not my brothers, just me. When I died, he’d have enough cash to retire on. For this very reason alone, I hated him and had nothing in my being that would ever want to forgive him.
After going through months of rage and rebellion, while the fear of death hung over me, I had an encounter with the Lord, where I sensed his overwhelming love, and asked Him into my life. I was around sixteen at the time. God led me from one Christian meeting to another until I found the church He wanted me to be a part of. There I thrived, learned and grew spiritually.
One day, while talking with the Father – out of the clear blue – He asked me to forgive my father. There was no question on what issue to which He was referring.
I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to. I had no warm fuzzy feelings to forgive my father. I didn’t forgive him because he deserved it. I didn’t forgive him because he asked for forgiveness. I didn’t forgive him because he regretted or repented for what he’d done. I didn’t forgive him because he said he was sorry – in any way – ever.
My father never admitted to or directly addressed the issue of the insurance policy in any way – from the inception of the act up to and through his passing twenty plus years later.
Forgiving my father had nothing to do with him. I did it to obey my Papa God, who I knew loved me no matter what. When I obeyed and forgave, a great calm and release came over me in that moment. As I obeyed the Lord, I was able to totally let go of all the hate and anger at the same time. I was free from all of it.
After that, my father and I actually became good friends throughout his remaining years – treating each other on the same level and with respect, even though he was forty-six years my senior. We’d talk mostly about engineering since both of us were engineers in our own respective fields.
When I was seventeen, God miraculously healed me from cancer. God initiated a conversation, asked if I wanted to be healed. I said, “Yes.” Within twenty-four hours, the tumor just dissipated, melted, and completely vanished – at which time my abdomen returned to normal.
Numerous times throughout the years, my father would ask out of the clear blue, “Don’t you go to one of those churches that believe in healing?”
I’d simply answer, “Yes, I do.”
Then he’d stare at me with a puzzled look, waiting, wanting me to elaborate and tell what he wanted to hear. But, being very stubborn, I was determined he’d actually need to break down and ask me directly if he wanted to know what had happened. I felt I was owed that much for all he’d put me through.
On a funny note – my father canceled the insurance policy three years later. And, he did accept the Lord later in life.
I will mention this to my father’s credit. For a man who never apologized for anything in his life, in his final years he started writing poetry – which did not fit his gruff, left-brained personality – nor had he ever done so before. He asked me to read it. His poetry showed his remorse about undefined failures in life. After his passing, I was able to accept that was the very best he could do to apologize to me for everything.
On top of forgiving my father, the Lord also wanted me to forgive myself – for blaming myself for my mother’s cancer.
Jesus himself, while hanging on the cross, said in Luke 23:34, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Out of obedience, I forgave my father and I forgave myself – and again, great calm and release came into my life – immediately – and the guilt and shame never ‘haunted’ me again.
I came to understand that unforgiveness is a spiritual cancer that will eat us up on the inside and, if unchecked, will eventually show up in the body. Therefore, I learned to detest unforgiveness with a passion. Nowadays, when somebody does me wrong, I don’t hesitate. I throw that unforgiveness away as fast as I can, no matter what they did. I do it for selfish reasons – for my own health.
I am grateful that God healed me, asked me to forgive and has shown me how to walk a life of forgiveness towards others. Forgiving others is a supernatural release out of an act of obedience. This simple, yet hard thing, freely giving forgiveness, creates supernatural results.
Submitted by: Tom Snow
This story was taken from Tom Snow’s new book – The Daily Stand : A Spiritual Warfare Instruction Manual for Today and the Upcoming Next Great Move of God. This book is an accumulation of fifty plus years of personal experience and scripture, exploring topics that Christian believers need to know in walking with the Lord in daily life in a very practical, non-religious way. This manual shows how to stand against evil and effectively use God’s authority in Christ to stop it.
Once we get to Heaven and God shows us a reel of our life, we will discover how many times we were rescued, protected or redirected by supernatural means. What a divine privilege it is that, during our time on earth, God gives us snapshots into the supernatural realm, unusual happenings that announce that Heaven is present and involved in our lives.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
Psalm 91:11
If you would like to share a personal story of supernatural protection or angelic activity in your history, please reach out. Private message me on Facebook messenger or email me and I will explain the details. I would love to share your testimony on my blog as an encouragement to others. As it says in Hebrews 3:13 – Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today’.
Also, you are welcome to share this story with your friends and family, or with anyone who needs some encouragement.
